Saturday, January 12, 2013

White House's Response to Petition to Build the Death Star

Seriously?  The Death Star? For all you folks who haven't seen Star Wars, this is what the petitioners were talking about:


According to our good friend, Wikipedia, it is a fictional moon-sized space station and superweapon.

This response is so well written, and yet, you can't help but think that the person who wrote it was snickering the entire time it took him to compose it.

Highlights include:

"The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:
  • The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
  • The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
  • Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
. . . If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

The entire text in all of its hilarious glory can be found here: You Crazy Cakes Star Wars Fan, You, and I encourage you to read it. Remember, this was written by Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget (which makes it EVEN MORE HILARIOUS if you ask me).

Now, if I were given this petition, methinks I would have hoofed it to the local Toys R Us, bought this, handed it over to the nearest group of interns, and upon completion, issued a response of "We did it!"


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