Friday, March 1, 2019

Reflections

Hi there, friends.  Just checking in and feeling like it's time to catch up again.  Last year around my birthday I posted a similar entry of random thoughts and reflections.  And while I don't always post these thoughts publicly, I do certainly entertain them- especially around the old birthday each year.  So here's a snippet of what's happening with me lately.




Age is just a number, or so they say. My number now stands at 43 and I'm completely ok with that. I would rather my number go up than be up. In fact I spent the past year thinking I was already 43. (Isn't that something that old people do?) In any case, I have either squandered the year or gained one, depending on your perspective.

Birthdays will always, always make me a little nostalgic. Each one my own personal New Year's Day as the old year passes away and a new one lies before me. I always find myself taking a trip down memory lane to remember what has brought me here, lingering on the good stuff and skimming quickly past a few things too...

Speaking of perspective, the passing of time surely lends you that. I have discovered that I am quite possibly the least competitive person I know. I love throwing stuff away but I'm also deeply sentimental. I am a fall/ winter person. Give me a chill in the air or even some snow and I'm a happy girl. I spent the majority of my adult life thinking I wouldn't be a mother. But now that I am one, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love being a mom. Lexi's mom. Yes, it defines me in many ways, but I am humbled to be a part of the magic that happens daily.

I know me very well. And there is a comfort that comes with that; a confidence. I am a speaker by profession, a talker by extension, though at my core I am rather shy. I am a thinker. A listener. Sometimes even a doer. I am a dog person, really just an animal person. I love deeply. I care deeply. I strive to be the best version of me that I can be. I'm not there yet, but as long as He's still working on me, I try to give myself a little slack.

I dance in public. I sing out loud. (Lexi tells me I sound like Elsa- from Frozen, though I'm pretty sure Idina Menzel isn't too worried. Bless her heart and the innocence of youth.) I talk to most everyone. About most everything. I can even hold my own in some sports conversations and most things related to preschool youngins. But only religion and politics with those I know very well.

I am southern through and through. Manners, respect, charm, chivalry. I love the south, real ladies, true gentlemen, grits, handwritten thank you notes, collard greens, country roads, potato salad, the smell of tobacco and earth, peonies, gardenias and magnolia blossoms. Cornbread should never be sweet but tea always is. If there was ever anyone born too late, it was me. I would have been in my hey day in the 1950s.

My name isn't that long. 6 letters. Short on the page but long on the tongue. As such, people have always shortened my name. D is the most common, and I always respond to it. Daddy is the only person on earth who still calls me Annie. When he says it, it sounds right and I know exactly who he is talking to (or about). If ANYONE else were to call me Annie, it wouldn't register at all.

I have about 12 umbrellas in my car but rarely use any of them. And when it's truly pouring down, there is never one within arm's reach. I am not a morning person. I don't understand people who are. My day starts with coffee (lots of cream, no sugar) and ends with wine. (Red. Cab sav, please.) I do, however, switch to white in the heat of the summer. I'm not a monster.

I don't eat cheese, even on my pizza. Never have.

I am 5' 7.5". I have always rounded that up to 5' 8". People have long thought I am much taller than that, I'm sure because I almost always wear heels. If you catch me in tennis shoes or flip flips, you will realize quickly that I'm not a close to 6' as you may have thought. Though my mom was and she still wore heels daily too.

There is beauty in everything. If you look. Really look.

I have my Grandma Elizabeth's green eyes and my Mama's freckles. I also inherited my mom's cooking abilities (which she would have been the first to admit were less than.) But I do have the handwritten copies of all of Grandma Elizabeth's famous recipes, and every time I make her chicken soup or coconut pie, I still feel like maybe I can cook a little after all. One day I will see them both again on the other side and I have a feeling we will all have a good laugh about my cooking abilities. For that moment I cannot wait.

Life is short. Do the good stuff now. Eat, drink, be merry. Use the good china. Dance. Pray. Burn the candles. Use the pretty towels. If they get soiled, wash them. (Duh.) Respect your elders. Listen to their stories. Remember. **Respect everyone.** Travel. Sightsee. Leave only footprints. Take only memories. Love is all around. Grab onto it and hold on tight.

I'm pretty sure differential equations is loooong gone, but by golly I know every song, every lyric, every note to the Frozen soundtrack. And I'm completely ok with that too.

43, here's to us.

And if that wasn't enough for you, here's the click for the entry I wrote last year.  

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