Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday

This is the point in the Christmas season where my taste in Christmas music turns to either the

true blue classic carols OR the tunes that are just completely outside-the-box.  This one falls into the latter category.  I have been enjoying this one lately and thought I would share.  It's good for a laugh and it features some of my favorite country crooners as the Kung Pao Buckaroos- George Jones, Little Jimmy Dickens, and Whispering Bill Anderson- the first two of whom are sadly no longer with us.  So it's especially good to hear them again, and especially in such a silly and light-hearted song.  

Take a listen here: 

And here are the lyrics for those who want to follow along...

And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday

Whatever you do watch what you say

If you're easily offended well that's okay

It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

We catch up with our three cowboys one cold December night huddled around a camp fire.

How 'bout we sing some holiday songs?

Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?

Yeah, I got one.

Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thy branches...

Why am I getting bleeped again?

Haven't you heard guys? You can't say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday

I can't say Chri-biip-mas?

No, you might offend somebody.

Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas?

You know you might offend the biiiips and the biiiips and the atheists.

What?

Time to politically correct.

I'll lead this off.

On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love said to me...

Jimmy, are you listening?

What?

You can't say Chri-biip-mas.

Why not?

If you can say he-biiiip on the last record,

Why can't I say Chri-biip-mas?

I didn't make the rules.

Hey listen guys, it's not that difficult, all you gotta do is change Chri-biip-mas to Holiday.

You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say I'm dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday.

Why did I get bleeped?

You've got to say Caucasian.

So I have to sing, I'm dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?

Sure, that won't offend anyone.

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,

Whatever you do watch what you say

If you're easily offended well that's okay

Why do these people have to feel that way? How come they get offended so easily?

It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

I'm just trying to come up with a song here.

Let's sing one together, everybody ready? George?

Ready.

Bill you ready?

I'm ready.

Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?

Okay!

We three kings of or-biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts we've traveled real far....

Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.

What?

Oh, come on just try.

I've got to get hyped up for this.

We three kings of Asia are....

That sounds like horse cr-biiiip

Oh lord, okay. How 'bout Little Drummer boy?

Nope, that offends short people.

And you can't say drummer 'cause that'll offend real musicians.

How 'bout little -hahaha- town of Bethlehem.

What's with all the short jokes?

Hey how 'bout we do Silent Night?

No, it offends people hard of hearin' and afraid of the dark.

What did he say about a shark?

Shark?

This happens every year.

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,

Whatever you do watch what you say,

If you're easily offended well that's okay,

It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

No.

I can't say ho?

No, you might offend some... Women.

So basically, we can't sing anything?

I think that's a bunch of bull biiiip.

Softer, George, it's more effective.

I think that's a bunch of bull biiiip.

Wait just a dar-biip minute...

No, no, no..

You now what? I don't care who we offend, I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.

Louder, Bill, it's more effective.

I don't care who we offend, I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.

Me too.

We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year.

We can't say new; it'll offend the old folks.

And you better not offend them.

Us...

A Letter From Santa

Last year, when my in-laws moved closer to our part of the world, they went through a lot of their belongings, as we tend to do when we are preparing for a big move, and my mother-in-law came across a wonderful letter that she received from Santa when she was a little girl.  She passed it along to me because she thought I would appreciate it.  And boy was she right!!

It was still tucked away inside it's original envelope, dated December 21, 1953, complete with the Santa Claus, IN postmark.  Her mother saved it for her for many years, and then she kept it for many years herself.  Now, I share it with you because it's too special not to. 

Here's a look at the special letter inside. Just look at the letterhead.  I love it!!

And here's the full letter.  (You can click on the image to view a larger photo.) 

Signed by Santa himself.  

The letter reads: 

Hello there- 

Just the other day, I got the nicest letter from you, and because it was so nice, I'm answering it myself.  My helpers are just finishing up the biggest and best bagful of surprises ever. 

It's a pretty big job making sure that everybody gets their share, but Mrs. Claus and I can do it because we've spent hundreds of years learning what boys and girls like to find underneath their trees Christmas morning. 

Remember, if you don't find every single thing on your list, it's just because some of it went to your friend down the street or in the next town or maybe even across the ocean. 

I'll be around Christmas Eve.  'Til then, here's a very Merry Christmas from -

Santa Claus

Oh how sweet and special and magical.  And oh to find a letter like this from Santa himself.  What a wonderful surprise that must have been.  

Creative parents have come up with all sorts of ways to do similar things over the years.  But I will close by sharing a little tip with you.  There is only one place in whole entire world that bears the Santa Claus postmark.  Santa Claus is in fact a real little town in Indiana.  (We have been there and seen it first hand.)  And there is a sure-fired way to receive a letter similar to this one with that special postmark on it.  

Just send your letter to Santa to: 

SANTA CLAUS

P.O. BOX 1

SANTA CLAUS, IN 47579

As long as your letter to Santa has been received by December 21, 2017, and a legible return address is included in the letter, the child will receive a reply.  And it's FREE!!

Merry Christmas, my friends!

30 Traditions to Help You Celebrate an Old-Fashioned Christmas

If you've been following our blog for any amount of time, you'll know that The Harris Sisters are old souls who like to incorporate vintage items and old-fashioned traditions into our modern lives.

Christmas is the perfect time to look back to old family traditions and see which ones you might be able to work into your celebrations this year. You might be surprised at how fun some things from your childhood still are, and your children might enjoy them too!

30 Ways to Have an Old-Fashioned Christmas

Settle in for a healthy dose of nostalgia. How many of these Christmas traditions do you remember from your childhood?

Decorations

1. Set up a toy train to go around the base of your Christmas tree. This will provide hours of fun for little kiddos!

2. String bubble lights on your Christmas tree. Even if you have a pre-lit tree, you can string a few strands of these on the tree for a colorful vintage effect.

3. Place an (electric) candle in each of your windows.

4. Make popcorn or cranberry garlands.

5. Collect pine cones from your yard and use them to create a wreath or tuck them into a garland.

6. If you have holly bushes in your yard, snip a few pieces and use them to decorate.

7. Share the stories of your ornaments with your kids as they help you hang them on the tree.

8. Make handmade ornaments or photo ornaments.

9. Hang fresh mistletoe in your doorway.

10. Decorate your tree with vintage decorations, ornaments, and icicles.

11. Make pomanders out of oranges and cloves.

Food

12. Hunt down some old-fashioned Christmas candy - just like the kind that used to be at Grandma's house.

13. Decorate a gingerbread house.

14. Bake from scratch. Pull out your family recipes and set aside a day (or two) to make Christmas goodies and maybe even a favorite meal. These are The Harris Sisters' favorite family recipes for Christmas time:

• Grandma Elizabeth's Applesauce Cake
• Grandma Elizabeth's Magic Fruitcake
• Grandma Elizabeth's Oatmeal Cake

15. Enjoy homemade wassail.

Presents

16. Mail holiday cards. Even with social media keeping everyone up-to-date on your daily activities, it's nice to sit down and actually mail physical cards. Display any cards you receive so that you can enjoy them throughout the season.

17. Make homemade gifts for loved ones. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Wire Beaded Jewelry
• Dip Dyed T-Shirts
• Granny Square Scrap Afghan

18. If you want to put together old-fashioned stockings, make sure to include a citrus fruit (like an orange or a tangerine), a pack of gum (we used to always get Doublemint), some chocolates, some nuts (still in shells), and a candy cane.

19. Wrap your gifts in brown paper tied with baker's twine.

Activities

20. Get together with a group of friends or neighbors to go caroling.

21. Attend Christmas Eve church service.

22. Grab some blankets and hot chocolate and go for a horse-drawn carriage ride.

23. Take the opportunity to dress up and get at least one family photo. Our parents and grandparents were far less casual with their dressing than we are now. So, while those matching Christmas jammies for the whole family are nice, they wouldn't have been considered photo attire back in the day. :-) 

24. Combine fruits and spices to create a crockpot potpourri.

25. Bundle up and go ice skating.

26. Read Christmas stories.

27. Drive around to look at Christmas lights while listening to Christmas music.

28. Make paper snowflakes with your kiddos to decorate your house.

29. Watch your favorite Christmas movie together as a family.

30. Go to your town's local Christmas parade.

Christmas is a time for you to remember everything you have to be thankful for. 

If you want to recreate a simple, old-fashioned Christmas, the best way to start is by taking out your calendar and marking out everything that isn't an absolute "must do." Then add in a few of the old-fashioned Christmas traditions listed above.

They will help to bring back the Christmas you remember from your childhood and add some extra joy to your Christmas celebrations.

Hope you enjoy a fun, old-fashioned merry Christmas with your family and I hope we've helped you to remember some family traditions to rekindle this season!

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