'Twas the Site by Three Sisters - 2017

In our grand old tradition, The Harris Sisters present to you our 2017 year in review in the form of a 'Twas the Night Before Christmas parody.

We sure had a lot of fun this year, and we hope that you had fun reading along with us!

'Twas the Site by Three Sisters - 2017

Twas the site by three sisters, Two Thousand Seventeen

Oh how many things we've done and seen!

In January, we taught you how to declutter your drawers,

Your closets, your cabinets, bins, baskets, and more! 

And then in March, we brought you a big craze,

Of painting rocks in many different ways,

And then you carefully take them around,

And hide them in your city, village, suburb, or town.

By April, we were bringing you the scoop,

Of how to practice and learn to hula-hoop.

And for those who are a little more literary,

We reminded you how to find a Little Free Library.

By July, we were headed to St. Simon's Island,

For our annual Girls' Weekend - sure to bring a smile and,

Some adventures, and laughs, and a photo or two,

What a great location to rendezvous!

And we would be completely remiss,

If we didn't mention this year's Total Solar Eclipse!

With eclipse glasses in hand and remaining our calmest,

We viewed the eclipse on the 21st of August.

"Now, Madonna! now, Cyndi Lauper! and Prince on MTV!

And Cabbage Patch Kids! And legwarmers! Acid wash jeans and E.T.!"

Back to our childhood, from the 1980's we dressed,

For our Halloween costumes - totally awesome and fresh! 

In 2018, we'll write ALL NEW blog posts,

And you'll thoroughly enjoy them. (We don't mean to boast.)

With the wink of an eye and typing the keys,

On the blog all new content will go with ease!

So as we wait for 2017's big sendoff,

We wanted to make sure we gave you our props,

So to all who have followed, shared, commented, and liked

"HARRIS CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

Merry Christmas from Donna, Misty, and Deanna!

Take a look at our previous year's Christmas Eve parodies.

Merry Christmas from the Family

Here's another not-so-classic country Christmas tune that I've put into my regular rotation lately.  If you aren't already familiar with this one, let's just say it's pretty much the National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation in the song version.  It starts with family members getting drunk on champagne punch and homemade eggnog.  Incidentally, John and I have hosted several Christmas get-togethers lately, and those have been our drinks of choice too.  Hmmm, coincidence?  I plead the fifth.   

In any case, I like the version sung by Montgomery Gentry.  Here's the click to give it a listen. 

And here are the lyrics.  I think I pretty much have them memorized at this point.  :)

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party

We were drinkin' champagne punch

And homemade eggnog

Little sister brought her new boyfriend

He was a Mexican

We didn't know what to think of him

Til he sang Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn

And the two identical twins

From his second wife Mary Nell

Of course he brought his new wife Kaye

Who talks all about AA

Chain smokin' while the stereo plays

Noel, Noel, The first Noel

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on

Mix Margaritas when the eggnog's gone

Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store

We need some ice and an extension cord

A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite

A box of pampers, some Marlboro Lights

Hallelujah everybody say cheese

Merry Christmas from the family

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them

But when they tried to plug their motor home in

They blew our christmas lights

Cousin David knew just what went wrong

So we all waited on our front lawn

He threw the breaker and the lights came on

And we sang Silent Night

Oh Silent Night o' holy night

Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on

Mix Bloody Marys cause we all want one

Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go

We need some celery and a can of fake snow

A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite

A box of midol, some Salem Lights

Hallelujah everybody say cheese

Merry Christmas from the family

Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday

This is the point in the Christmas season where my taste in Christmas music turns to either the

true blue classic carols OR the tunes that are just completely outside-the-box.  This one falls into the latter category.  I have been enjoying this one lately and thought I would share.  It's good for a laugh and it features some of my favorite country crooners as the Kung Pao Buckaroos- George Jones, Little Jimmy Dickens, and Whispering Bill Anderson- the first two of whom are sadly no longer with us.  So it's especially good to hear them again, and especially in such a silly and light-hearted song.  

Take a listen here: 

And here are the lyrics for those who want to follow along...

And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday

Whatever you do watch what you say

If you're easily offended well that's okay

It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

We catch up with our three cowboys one cold December night huddled around a camp fire.

How 'bout we sing some holiday songs?

Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?

Yeah, I got one.

Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thy branches...

Why am I getting bleeped again?

Haven't you heard guys? You can't say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday

I can't say Chri-biip-mas?

No, you might offend somebody.

Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas?

You know you might offend the biiiips and the biiiips and the atheists.

What?

Time to politically correct.

I'll lead this off.

On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love said to me...

Jimmy, are you listening?

What?

You can't say Chri-biip-mas.

Why not?

If you can say he-biiiip on the last record,

Why can't I say Chri-biip-mas?

I didn't make the rules.

Hey listen guys, it's not that difficult, all you gotta do is change Chri-biip-mas to Holiday.

You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say I'm dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday.

Why did I get bleeped?

You've got to say Caucasian.

So I have to sing, I'm dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?

Sure, that won't offend anyone.

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,

Whatever you do watch what you say

If you're easily offended well that's okay

Why do these people have to feel that way? How come they get offended so easily?

It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

I'm just trying to come up with a song here.

Let's sing one together, everybody ready? George?

Ready.

Bill you ready?

I'm ready.

Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?

Okay!

We three kings of or-biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts we've traveled real far....

Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.

What?

Oh, come on just try.

I've got to get hyped up for this.

We three kings of Asia are....

That sounds like horse cr-biiiip

Oh lord, okay. How 'bout Little Drummer boy?

Nope, that offends short people.

And you can't say drummer 'cause that'll offend real musicians.

How 'bout little -hahaha- town of Bethlehem.

What's with all the short jokes?

Hey how 'bout we do Silent Night?

No, it offends people hard of hearin' and afraid of the dark.

What did he say about a shark?

Shark?

This happens every year.

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,

Whatever you do watch what you say,

If you're easily offended well that's okay,

It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

No.

I can't say ho?

No, you might offend some... Women.

So basically, we can't sing anything?

I think that's a bunch of bull biiiip.

Softer, George, it's more effective.

I think that's a bunch of bull biiiip.

Wait just a dar-biip minute...

No, no, no..

You now what? I don't care who we offend, I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.

Louder, Bill, it's more effective.

I don't care who we offend, I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.

Me too.

We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year.

We can't say new; it'll offend the old folks.

And you better not offend them.

Us...