As parents all over the US rejoice in sending their kids back to school, they also simultaneously dread the thought of the new found germs that will be coming home with the kids almost immediately.
And in addition to those germs, there also comes the inevitable moment when (even after you've repeatedly told them otherwise) SOMEBODY sneezes or coughs and . . . forgets . . . to . . . cover . . . his . . . mouth. DUN DUN DUN.
And THAT, dear friends, is when you need to call upon Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock:
The instant the transgression occurs, ask them: "You know what Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock would say about that?"
As they stare at you with bewilderment, you will then answer:
STAY AWAY FROM ME IF YOU'RE CONTAGIOUS
If you're feeling particularly funky-fresh, I highly recommend that you continue through the chorus. Now, I'm sure the bewilderment will take a moment to wear off, so take this opportunity to explain that in THIS instance, "It Takes Two" refers to one person making another person sick by spreading germs, which is why you should always cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough.
If this is in any way met with "It's too hard," "I can't do it," "I will DIE!" or some derivation thereof, interrupt them with quite possibly one of the best lines from any song ever:
YOU DON'T LIKE IT? SO WHAT, I DON'T CARE.
Meaning, of course, that this is not optional and that you, Rob Base, AND DJ E-Z Rock mean bidness. ;-)